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The Secret Tales

What? You thought I'd have something like this in my personal journal?


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April 10th, 2013

Title: My Future's So Bright I Gotta Wear Safety Boots
Author: des_pudels_kern
Fandom: The Social Network
Pairing: Sean/Mark/Eduardo
Rating: PG-13. Sorry, I keep resolving to write porn and then… don't (I think the accurate term would be 'giant cop-out'). Though this fic might get a coda with a higher rating.
Description: Sean is a silver-tongued opportunist with a weakness for shiny things and mostly good intentions. Mark is naturally good with computers and, in Sean's expert opinion, very shiny, but proves to be inexplicably attached to his hopefully soon-to-be ex-CFO, while Eduardo is boring, useless, and a lot harder to get rid off than he should be. And that is only before Sean is electrocuted.
Warnings: Includes possible dub-con (the exact extend of the consent remains unclear due to the POV). At one point early on Sean is electrocuted, but no lasting damage is done. Story includes short mention of discrimination and ableism.
Disclaimer: Any characters mentioned here belong to their respective creators; the names of any real people mentioned refer to fictionalised versions of these people. No money is made and no offense intended.
Length: ~15.5k
A/N: This is my first time writing from Sean's POV, but I hope I've done him justice. I probably haven't done the fic justice – I've had some things going on the last couple of weeks and ended up not giving this fic the attention and time it deserves. There are probably mistakes en masse, and I spectacularly copped out when it came to writing the actual threesome. At some point though this fic will get a proper edit, maybe a couple of snippets of backstories and the odd missing scene, and a porny coda. We should always strive to venture out of our comfort zones and conquer new territory, after all.

Most importantly: This fic was written for tsnrarepairfest, and the amazing and patient mesmerized_mia / eightshinyunicorns did me the honour of painting three wonderful pieces of art for it. You can look at them here.

My Future's So Bright I Gotta Wear Safety BootsCollapse )

January 16th, 2013

TSN: Optimal Noise Level

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Title: Optimal Noise Level
Author: des_pudels_kern
Fandom: The Social Network
Pairing, Characters: Mark, Eduardo (can be read as pre-slash if you are so inclined)(let's be honest, you probably are)
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Any characters mentioned here belong to their respective creators; the names of any real people mentioned refer to fictionalised versions of these people. No money is made and no offense intended.
Length: ~ 5k
Status: One-shot
Summary: Eduardo spends enough time in Kirkland that he might as well be living with them. He's always over, to study, to hang out, sometimes staying late enough that he falls asleep. Eliot must be a horrible, noisy, unwelcoming place.
Author's Note: For laliquey, written for the 2012 round of thesantanetwork. Everybody should have a little something underneath their virtual tree, even if the time for trees is technically already over. I hope you like it!
Gratitude for betaing goes to yellowwolf5, who is a saint for putting up with my drabble-sized monster sentences. All mistakes that remain are my own.
A general note: For the purpose of this story, let's assume that people get into their dorms (the buildings, not the rooms) with keycards. I have no idea what the system is in Harvard, and I didn't get a close enough look to be able to tell for sure for movie!Harvard. Actually, I have no idea how dorms in general work, over here the renting of private rooms or flats is much more common.
Written: January 2013

Optimal Noise LevelCollapse )

December 28th, 2012

Link to Part 1

Part 2Collapse )
Title: Mobile Emergency IT Support
Author: des_pudels_kern
Fandom: The Social Network
Pairing, Characters: Eduardo/Mark
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Any characters mentioned here belong to their respective creators; the names of any real people mentioned refer to fictionalised versions of these people. No money is made and no offense intended.
Length: ~19.5k
Status: Complete
Summary: Eduardo is a successful businessman who works crazy hours to become even more successful. Mark is a taxi driver and works the night shift, which is successful enough for him.
Author's Note: Written for serenatechair for thesantanetwork.
I know nothing about things related to taxis, computers, or business, everything in here is made up, and to anybody even remotely familiar with any of these fields this will probably be painful to read. I apologize for this.
Written: October-December 2012

Mobile Emergency IT SupportCollapse )

September 30th, 2012

TSN: Preliminary (2/2)

For warnings see Part 1.

Part 2Collapse )

TSN: Preliminary (1/2)

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Title: Preliminary
Author: des_pudels_kern
Fandom: The Social Network
Pairings: faint Mark/Erica, Mark/Christy, one-sided Mark/Eduardo
Rating: R for mental issues and oral sex
Warnings: Can be considered triggering for people sensitive to certain mental health issues regarding loss of touch with reality and delusion.
Disclaimer: Any characters mentioned here belong to their respective creators; the names of any real people mentioned refer to fictionalised versions of these people. No money is made and no offense intended.
Length: ~20.5k
Summary: Eduardo is not perfect, as far as Mark is concerned he is the perfect friend. He supports Mark, believes in him, and genuinely likes him. He also acts as the voice of reason to Mark's social convention defying genius, pointing out what Mark would rather have ignored and talking him into things. Mark's own personal companion, cheerleader, and conscience, wrapped into a visually appealing package and ready to be pulled out or ignored at will.
Oh, and he's not real.
But Mark is aware of that, he's not delusional. Eduardo is just a crutch until the world catches up with Mark and he doesn't need him anymore.
Mark's got this under control.
A/N: For Alex (sweetmadness379), who loved this 'verse when it was nothing but angst and tags. If this fic is anyone's it's yours. (Sorry it's still nothing but angst.)(No, I lie. I am not sorry.)
My eternal gratitude goes to all those who have encouraged me in this, sadfaced and prodded and poked me and helped me out with suggestions, inspiration, and other assistance, first and foremost to Kelly (yellowwolf5), for handholding and betaing and always being just an email away.
I apologize for the Donnie Darko reference.
This fic was written for thesocialbbang, where it is linked here.

Fanart by badsketches
Graphic and fanmix by sweetmadness379

PreliminaryCollapse )

February 5th, 2012

By now all of you probably know what is going on in TSN fandom at the moment, so here is where I stand in the matter.

I am not going to lock or delete any of my fic (for now; I reserve the right to do so should the situation change). I'm not particularly well-known in fandom and have always kept private information that links to my RL behind locks, so I don't think I have reason to worry.

I am upset though, and have no idea what that woman was thinking.

What did she mean to accomplish? She doesn’t seem to actually be in this fandom (aside from following some JE blogs?), know much about it, or know any fandom etiquette at all. It honestly sounds like either someone desperately wanting attention or a troll out to portray us as a bunch of delusional freaks who think JE and AG are in secret gay love in hopes that the resulting continued poking from the outside would send fandom scrambling for the hills. Because why else would she have thought it was great for fandom to get covered on Gawker and even more exposure would be even better? People’s immediate reactions to the original article were worry and thoughts about locking or deleting fic to preserve their privacy and not suffer consequences in RL. One look around fandom would have shown that to anyone who cared or was part of fandom.

Maybe she really did have the best of intentions, but in that case it seems she is one of those people who are too stupid to be allowed on the internet.

I now also feel a strong urge to bash my head against a wall until the pain stops.

For those not in the know: Gawker recently published an ‘article’ on TSN fandom, apparently labouring under the impression it is centred around the real CEO of Facebook and the people in his life and not about fictional characters from a movie that in turn was based on a book which too could be considered fanfic. Not to mention the attitude and tone it is written in - gleefully, overly amused to faux-disgusted voyeurism and pride in itself for this effort in forced exhibitionism. The whole thing strongly reminds me of a group of children or teenagers laughing at someone who is not their definition of normal and mocking them that they can see their underwear after having pulled their pants down themselves.

They also include links.

Either way this has led people to talk about locking and even deleting their fic. I didn’t think the article was going to garner much interest and would have those readers who actually saw it giggle and shake their head in incomprehension while patting themselves on the back for having more socially accepted hobbies (like watching porn with two hot girls making out, maybe), but I did doubt anyone would care enough to follow up. Well, except maybe the people whose names we use for our main characters, but those most likely already knew what was happening, being young internet-savvy geeks capable of googling their own names and all.

Then a self-proclaimed member of fandom decided to email the article’s author, telling him “It’s cool you’re covering TSN fandom inaccurately because ANY coverage of this fandom is awesome” and then explaining how it’s really all about believing JE and AG are in a relationship. No, really. “There is also a large segment of TSN fandom that believes Jesse Eisenberg, and Andrew Garfield are in an actual relationship.” She is also entirely unapologetic and does not see how fandom existing online to be shared and enjoyed with like-minded people in an open but safe space is okay for us but being publicly outed and dissected by a gossip site only wanting to mock and belittle us is not and that people are upset about this.

Ergo people locking or deleting their fic because they are afraid of being publicly exposed and humiliated, maybe with consequences in RL.

December 7th, 2011

You may have seen the meme:

Give me a pairing and I will tell you:
who is the big spoon/little spoon
what is their favorite non-sexual activity
who uses all the hot water in the morning
what they order from take out
what is the most trivial thing they fight over
who does most of the cleaning
what has a season pass in their DVR
who controls the netflix queue
who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working
who steals the blankets
who leaves their stuff around
who remembers to buy the milk
who remembers anniversaries

The Facebook Four - cut because I needed 4500 words to answerCollapse )

November 20th, 2011

Comment fic, anyone?

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Comment to this post any time between now and New Year, and I'll (try and) write you a Winter Holiday comment fic. You can leave a fandom, a pairing, or a prompt, all three of those things, or none of them! It can be winter/holiday-themed, but doesn't have to be. This could also be your chance to request that missing scene or sequel snippet you've always wanted for one of my fics. You may even comment as anon (...I might regret this part later).

No guarantees though - fic will be written when and were the muse is willing, and she is a fickle lady. But I'll try my best.

Edit: Postponed. Sorry. Something sad happened in RL and fic is currently the last thing on my mind.
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